Bullying Prevention: Becoming Calloused

As part of bullying prevention, youths who become calloused to bullying and verbal intimidation develop better self-images and improve their social skills. In the wake of the recent shooting in Uvalde, Texas, it is beneficial to look at why youths use violence.  According to a survey at Alfred University in New York, 87% of student respondents agreed the number 1 reason for school violence was, “They want to get back at those who have hurt them.” The number 2 reason was, “Other kids pick on them, make fun of them, or bully them.” Despite all the efforts schools use for bullying prevention, youths will continue to use bullying tactics. Individuals tend to engage in this behavior for social positioning, amusing games, social contamination, and other reasons.  

One approach in bullying prevention is to teach youths a “calloused exercise”. Callouses are the overgrowths on the skin from too much work. Construction workers or guitarists get them on their hands. When it happens, they don't feel the pain of the friction of tools or guitar strings. Youth can do the same thing, with their mind. If they do the following exercise (can be modified based upon age and interests):

• Have them close their eyes and think of a quiet and calm place they can go where they relax. Where nothing bothers them. Have them take a few deep breaths and first enjoy the calm. 
• Once they feel that calm, have them imagine that they're in outer space on a spacewalk. They have a spacesuit and meteors try to hit them. But no matter how hard the meteor is, it bounces off them. They don't feel it. Their suit is so powerful, and nothing penetrates it. Have them imagine this scene.
• Then have them think of a place where people bother them. Maybe teens or peers at school. Somewhere when they feel "less than" or hurt. Have them imagine they're still wearing their protective suit. Whatever people say to them, no matter how hurtful, they can hear but it doesn’t emotionally affect them. It bounces off them like the meteors and doesn't penetrate them. Let them imagine this scene for a few minutes. Then have them open their eyes.
• Have them repeat this exercise daily or as frequently as needed to build up their emotional callouses. It will help them feel empowered.

Because a youth being bullied is often a traumatic experience, the youth can shut down and experience hypervigilance or withdrawal. Bullying is recognized as one of the factors of the Adverse Child Experience Survey (ACES) and also has long-lasting effects. Developing skills such as the calloused exercise offer youths a coping skill they can use to reduce the trauma impact.